I know what you mean. It could've been better, definitely. It was a little slow, and I hope nopony hates me for saying it, but after a while, all I could think was, "when is she going to die?" Also because ADD I couldn't really focus on the long long long descriptions of the same things over and over. I feel like it would've done better split into chapters.
Oh danks c: And I agree, some people really hate the idea of turning the good characters (Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Big Mac, ect.)into something they're not. Me on the other hand, I enjoy it because it works my imagination. c: